Dating over 60 is brave.

Tender.

Hopeful.

And yet – sometimes the hardest part isn’t the men.

It’s the people sitting across from you at lunch, clutching their wine glasses, nodding sympathetically while inadvertently dragging your love life into the gutter.

We’re going there.

If you’re dating over 60, or even considering it, your friends – and your kids – are absolutely influencing how you feel, how you choose, and how long you stay stuck.

Sometimes in supportive ways. Sometimes… not so much.

When Women Undermine Other Women (Without Meaning To)

I call it misery poker.

You know the game.

You share something hopeful:

“He seems kind, consistent, like a good guy.”

And instead of curiosity or encouragement, someone raises you:

• “Well, my friend dated a guy like that, and he turned out to be emotionally unavailable.”
• “Men our age don’t really change.”
• “Just don’t get your hopes up.”

Suddenly, the table is full of cautionary tales. Everyone’s ante-ing up with disappointment. And optimism is the first thing to fold.

I have no doubt your friends love you. They’re not trying to sabotage you. They’re just letting off their own steam, trying to process their own pain, and recruiting you into emotional solidarity.

If you succeed, what does it say about them? Misery loves company is a cliche for a reason.

But when women repeatedly undermine other women’s hope, it creates a quiet agreement:

“Let’s not want too much.”

And that agreement will cost you at just the time of life that ALL your focus should be on what YOU want (finally).

The Danger of Outsourcing Your Dating Intuition

When you’re dating over 60, it can feel comforting to run everything by your girlfriends.

It’s even fun to send pics of a text thread and go through the play-by-play with your nearest and dearest in an attempt to understand what your potential suitors might be thinking.

But here’s the coaching truth:

Your friends can’t (and shouldn’t) make YOUR decisions. Your friends are not in your body.

They don’t feel your nervous system. They don’t experience your chemistry. They don’t know which compromises feel workable to you.

This is the time of your life when you should be honing your own intuition about your 3H needs vs outsourcing it to anyone who might be more comfortable if you stay single.

Take a moment to consider where your friends might be coming from when they fill your head with horror stories, warnings, and general negativity about men or dating, and then decide if you want to “go down” with them.

If you decide to stay on “Team Hope” you have two choices: get your friends on board with a clear request or hang out with different people. (This is why I have group coaching with Master the Art of Love.)

In group coaching, women learn how to:

• Support each other without projecting
• Speak honestly without undermining hope
• Normalize fears without amplifying them
• Celebrate wins without jealousy
• Call each other forward – to honor our ideals

And Then There Are Your Kids…

Ah yes. The adult children. Hopefully, yours are loving and well-meaning, but it doesn’t make things less complex when new love comes on the scene.

When you start dating over 60, your kids may react in surprising ways.

Some feel competitive:

“I’ve been your main emotional support. Where do I fit now?”

Some feel possessive:

“I don’t want to share you.”

Some feel wary:

“I don’t want you hurt again.”

“What if HE spends my inheritance?”

And some feel uncomfortable with the idea that you’re still a sexual, desiring woman.

(That one doesn’t get said out loud, but it’s there.)

So they ask pointed questions. They raise eyebrows. They offer “concern.” And suddenly, you’re managing their feelings instead of honoring your own.

I think the thing children need most, even adult children, is to see you happy. Subconsciously, it teaches them that happiness, into old age, is possible for them too. So they may try to convince you (and themselves) they’d be happier for you to avoid risk, but the truth is, everyone would be happier if you found a partner and healthy love.

Your kids don’t need to approve of your dating life, but it sure would be nice to have their support. And since you can’t choose new kids, this challenge requires a frank conversation about your vision for your future and how love and your relationship with them fit into it.

Modeling self-determination and joy as you age is not selfish; it’s probably the greatest gift you can give them.

Women Can Be Powerful Allies in Love

From my experience coaching groups of women together, they can also be extraordinary forces for good in dating.

The right girlfriends:

• Celebrate your courage
• Ask thoughtful questions instead of planting doubt
• Help you slow down so you can assess your 3H criteria soberly.
• Care about your safety and your happiness

Healthy female support sounds like:

• “How do you feel with him?”
• “What are you learning about yourself?”
• “Does this align with what you said you wanted?”

Not:

• “Men are terrible.”
• “You’re probably settling.”
• “Don’t get excited.”

The difference may seem subtle, but it’s profound.

Dating over 60 already can feel a bit lonely as you search for the right places to find eligible people with your interests, or dare to go into the uncharted territory of online dating.

So if you want to feel less alone and more grounded and have more fun, you will pay attention to surrounding yourself with hopeful, positive voices. Veer towards those who make you feel more excited to date and away from those who build your fears. It’s simple to figure out…

A Question to Ask Yourself

Before you share your dating life, ask yourself:

“Is this person invested in my growth or in keeping me company in disappointment?”

And before you take advice, ask:

“Does this expand me or shrink me?” Do you admire how this person approaches love and/or dating?

You can control what you share with whom and who you let whisper in your ear.

Here’s me whispering: love has no expiration date. Now is the best possible time for you to muster up all your courage and hope and go for it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Can you count on your girlfriends to support your dating life? Have you experienced a situation where adult children or girlfriends ruined a possible relationship?

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Varicose veins are one of the most common vascular concerns affecting women ages 50–60. While often perceived as cosmetic, they reflect deeper structural and functional changes within the aging venous system. Chronic venous insufficiency (CVI) increases significantly with age, particularly in post-menopausal women, due to hormonal decline, vascular remodeling, and reduced connective tissue integrity.

Let’s take a deeper dive and review the clinical aromatherapy perspective of why essential oils may provide supportive care by promoting venous tone, supporting microcirculation, and modulating inflammation – when used within a safe, evidence-informed framework.

Essential oils contain very powerful active compounds that when used correctly can have a positive impact on supporting and promoting healing to the body without the use of strong medications or surgeries. It’s an alternative healing modality that many have found useful with their everyday routines. 

Why Varicose Veins Increase After 60

Varicose veins arise primarily from chronic venous insufficiency, in which venous valves become incompetent and allow retrograde blood flow. Over time, venous hypertension causes vessel dilation, wall weakening, and visible tortuosity.

Age-related factors include:

• Decreased collagen and elastin production
• Prolonged standing 
• Structural weakening of vein walls
• Reduced calf muscle pump efficiency
• Cumulative gravitational stress
• Post-menopausal hormonal shifts

These physiological changes collectively impair venous return and increase vascular fragility.

Hormonal Influence: The Post-Menopausal Shift 

Estrogen supports endothelial function, vascular flexibility, and nitric oxide production. Following menopause, declining estrogen levels contribute to:

• Increased vascular stiffness
• Reduced endothelial responsiveness
• Elevated inflammatory markers
• Impaired blood flow 
• Slower tissue repair

These changes influence both venous wall integrity and surrounding connective tissue, increasing susceptibility to venous insufficiency.

An Evidence-Informed Clinical Aromatherapy Perspective 

The American College of Healthcare Sciences (ACHS) emphasizes evidence-based aromatherapy practice within its professional training programs. American College of Healthcare Sciences prepares clinical aromatherapists to critically evaluate peer-reviewed research on essential oil chemistry, pharmacological mechanisms, inflammation modulation, and circulatory physiology.

It is important to clarify that:

• There are currently no large randomized controlled trials specifically demonstrating that essential oils reverse or cure varicose veins.
• Most available research examines essential oil constituents in vitro, animal models, or in broader inflammatory and circulatory contexts.
• Clinical aromatherapy applications for venous insufficiency are therefore based on pharmacological plausibility, traditional use, and symptom-supportive outcomes rather than disease-modifying claims.

Within an ACHS-aligned evidence-informed model, practitioners are trained to:

• Assess the biochemical profile of essential oils
• Review available safety data
• Evaluate mechanisms such as anti-inflammatory activity and microcirculatory stimulation
• Apply conservative dilution strategies
• Integrate aromatherapy with standard medical care

This framework strengthens clinical reasoning while maintaining professional and ethical integrity.

Essential Oils Supporting Microcirculation and Venous Tone

While not curative, certain essential oils possess properties that may support vascular tone, local circulation, and inflammatory balance.

Cypress (Cupressus sempervirens)

Traditionally regarded as a primary venous tonic in aromatherapy practice, cypress essential oil contains monoterpenes such as α-pinene associated with vascular modulation and anti-inflammatory activity.

Clinical rationale:

• Supports vasoconstrictive tone
• Assists lymphatic movement
• Reduces sensations of heaviness

Helichrysum (Helichrysum italicum)

Helichrysum is valued for its diketone content and potential microvascular-protective effects.

Clinical rationale:

• Anti-inflammatory support
• Capillary resilience
• Tissue repair facilitation

It is often selected in formulations addressing bruising, stagnation, and fragile skin.

Rosemary ct. verbenone (Rosmarinus officinalis ct. verbenone)

The verbenone chemotype provides milder stimulation appropriate for mature skin.

Clinical rationale:

• Enhances local microcirculation
• Provides antioxidant activity
• Supports connective tissue vitality

Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens)

Geranium oil contains citronellol and geraniol, compounds associated with anti-inflammatory and mild vaso-modulatory effects.

Clinical rationale:

• Fluid balance support
• Hormonal transition relevance
• Skin elasticity enhancement

Its inclusion is particularly appropriate in post-menopausal protocols.

Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia)

Lavender provides foundational anti-inflammatory and nervous system support.

Clinical rationale:

• Reduces localized inflammatory response
• Supports tissue repair
• Enhances blend tolerability
• Modulates stress-related vascular tension

Stress and sympathetic overactivation may exacerbate vascular constriction; lavender’s calming properties provide indirect vascular benefit.

Safety and Dilution for Women Over 60

Aging skin demonstrates reduced barrier integrity and dermal thinning. Conservative dilution is essential.

Clinical recommendations:

• 1% dilution for routine use
• Maximum 2% for short-term therapeutic protocols
• Avoid aggressive rubefacient oils
• Conduct patch testing

Contraindications include:

• Active deep vein thrombosis
• Severe edema of unknown origin
• Open venous ulcers
• Anticoagulant therapy without physician consultation

Aromatherapy should complement, not replace medical management. You can always consult with your healthcare provider when starting a new health and wellness protocol.

Integrative Care Model 

Optimal venous support includes:

• Graduated compression garments
• Daily walking to activate the calf pump
• Pillow leg elevation
• Lymphatic massage 
• Anti-inflammatory nutrition
• Adequate hydration

Within this integrative model, essential oils may enhance comfort, support tissue tone, and improve perceived heaviness and fatigue in the lower limbs.

Clinical Aromatherapy and Lymphatic Support

From a clinical aromatherapy standpoint, certain essential oils may complement lymphatic massage by:

• Supporting fluid movement
• Modulating inflammation
• Enhancing microcirculation

Commonly selected oils include:

• Cupressus sempervirens (venous and lymphatic support)
• Pelargonium graveolens (fluid balance)
• Rosmarinus officinalis ct. verbenone (circulatory stimulation)
• Lavandula angustifolia (anti-inflammatory support)

Blends should remain at 1% dilution for mature skin, using gentle upward strokes toward the heart.

Integrating Dead Sea Salt with Aromatherapy

A supportive protocol for women over 60 might include:

• 1–2 cups Dead Sea salt in warm water
• Optional addition of properly diluted essential oils (never added directly without dispersant)

Circulatory-supportive oils often selected include:

• Cupressus sempervirens
• Lavandula angustifolia
• Pelargonium graveolens

Always dilute essential oils in a carrier oil or dispersant before adding to bath water.

Avoid salt baths if there are:

• Open venous ulcers
• Active infections
• Severe edema of unknown cause
• Advanced heart disease

If swelling is sudden or painful, medical evaluation is necessary so speak with your physician or healthcare provider before starting a new health and wellness at home protocol.

Conclusion

The increased prevalence of varicose veins in women over 60 reflects hormonal decline, connective tissue remodeling, and cumulative venous stress. While essential oils do not reverse structural venous disease, an evidence-informed clinical aromatherapy approach such as that emphasized by the American College of Healthcare Sciences supports their responsible use in promoting microcirculation, modulating inflammation, and enhancing tissue vitality.

Through thoughtful formulation, appropriate dilution, and integration with conventional care, essential oils such as cypress, helichrysum, rosemary ct. verbenone, geranium, and lavender can serve as supportive adjuncts in the management of age-related venous concerns. Always work with a health care coach or master aromatherapist to support your daily routine for recommendation and protocol use. 

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you use aromatherapy for? Do you suffer from varicose veins? What has worked to lower your concerns about blook circulation in your veins?

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Photo: @bravowwhl

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Originally posted at: Amanda Frances’ Black Floral Applique Dress on WWHL

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When I was younger I kind of liked the idea of being a little old lady. Sitting by the fireside knitting with my cat snuggled on my lap, wearing my purple hat when out shopping with my rickety old-lady trolley. Having family pop round offering to do little chores or tasks. It all seemed quite blissful.

Only…

It wasn’t like that at all! Firstly, however hard I have tried, I can’t knit. Well, maybe in a straight line, but how many six foot scarves can you have? Secondly, as a person who loves to travel, I had to get my head around QR codes and digital passports.

Also, though I very much enjoyed popping in to my local bank to check my balance, it seems many of them are closing, so I have had to get to grips with online digital banking.

Starting with Something Small

The car I have owned for 10 years always has the wrong time when the clocks change. The thought of changing it made my brain hurt. Push this button, hold for 3 seconds, push the up/down button, hold for 3 seconds…

So for six months of the year I was on the wrong time.

But last week I said, “No more!” While waiting in a car park, I googled ‘how to change the time’. I followed the instructions, wrote them down for future reference, and changed the clock in seconds. I was jubilant!!

Paris

I recently heard that shopping trollies in Paris were the ‘must have’ accessories for everyone. Parisians love bottled water and, of course, wine, and it has become very chic to roll your trolley into a shop, fill it with bottles and trundle off. No heavy lifting, just a confident stroll through the Champs Elysees. 🙂

Well, if it’s good enough for 30-somethings in Paris, it’s good enough for me. So, I purchased a beautiful rose gold shopping trolley, and I love it! Cool, sophisticated, stylish (the trolley, not me!) and does the job perfectly. 🙂

Style

Of course, you should dress how you want at any age, but I definitely consider comfort more now that I am older. No more high heels killing my feet, or insufficient clothes that left me shivering. However, you don’t go to bed one night and wake up old, so why have an old lady wardrobe?

My clothes nowadays tend to be a mix of thrift shop, supermarket, high street, and the occasional splurge on something gorgeous! As I have saved money with reducing my overall clothing budget, I don’t feel guilty so just enjoy whatever I buy.

Comfort, ease of wearing, and texture, are highest on my list, so I tend to opt for natural fabrics such as cotton, linen, silk, and the occasional cashmere. My wardroom is quite basic and minimalistic, meaning anything I don’t wear is recycled at the local charity shop, allowing me more space for a little shopping. 🙂

Stay Curious

I love to stay curious. I find learning new things, or going to new places, so exciting. YouTube has become the replacement to my TV, and everyday, I am watching people trek around the world, restore chateaus, live on canal boats, safari in Africa, learn new skills…

The other evening, I popped into my local pub for a bite to eat on the way home. I was sitting on a sofa in front of the log fire, when a group of ladies came in and asked if I would mind them sharing the sofa. We sat there chatting for over an hour and these incredible women, all 70-plus, told me about their global travels, caravanning around Europe, their businesses, blogs, life stories… It was so inspiring! 🙂

Just Be Whoever You Want to Be

I think what I love most about being 60-plus is that it’s full of surprises. I can be whoever I want to be, reinvent myself, travel, study, become an entrepreneur, write a book. I can dress in any style I like – or change it every day. 

My hair can be purple if I want, but I love the mix of grey and blonde I have. I eat what I want, when I want, and drink red wine with meals. I do get a little tired sometimes, but either see a show or have a meal in the afternoon, or have a little siesta before going out in the evening. Very European. 🙂

Pioneers

Us Baby Boomers were pioneers back in the 60s’ and 70s’, and we are still pioneers now. Leading the way for the next generation to explore boundaries, take risks, learn, grow, and make their life anything they want it to be!

An old lady? At 60 we are just getting started!

Join the Conversation:

What has surprised you about being over 60? Have you changed how you live? Are you still as curious?

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The word oxymoron comes from two Greek roots: oxys, meaning sharp or keen, and mōros, meaning dull or foolish. Put together, the word itself is a contradiction – sharp-dull – making oxymoron an oxymoron. It first appeared in English in the 1650s, which means for centuries we have delighted in pairing opposites and called it clever.

We know the classics: sweet sorrow, deafening silence, jumbo shrimp. We recognize them instantly because they capture something true. Opposites often sit closer together than we expect.

I used to think oxymorons were just clever word pairings. Turns out, they’re also personality types. I should know. I’m a walking oxymoron.

Here are nine oxymorons that describe me. I wonder if you’ll recognize yourself in any of them.

1. Caffeinated Calm

I begin nearly every morning with yoga in my basement. I fire up YouTube and hang out with Yoga with Adriene, who speaks in a voice that suggests all problems can be solved with breath and gentle stretching. At the same time, I drink enough coffee for my bloodstream to host what can only be described as a staff meeting of anxious squirrels. I am reaching for inner peace while actively fueling outer alertness. Calm on the mat. Chaos in the mug.

2. Off-Duty Educator

I am retired from teaching, which means I no longer have lesson plans or grading deadlines. What I do have is an uncontrollable urge to explain things clearly and thoroughly, even when no one has asked. I give directions with examples and extreme diction. I clarify instructions on signs that already have pictures. Apparently, retirement applies to employment, not personality.

3. Grading Generously

I come from a family of teachers, which means we do not simply experience life – we evaluate it. The quality of chocolate is scored. Roadkill is critiqued. Public bathrooms receive thorough assessments. We believe in grace, of course. We just happen to express it with a rubric. I am kind, encouraging, and deeply supportive – right up until I begin mentally assigning participation points.

4. Sentimental Minimalist

I want less stuff. I say this often and with conviction. I have cleaned out many a closet and junk drawer for a struggling hoarder. I have devoted podcast episodes and previous stories on Sixty and Me to the topic (Ex. Dad’s Spicy La-Z-Boy). And yet every object I touch from MY LIFE carries a memory: a child’s laugh, a season of life, a story I’m not exactly ready to release. I attempt to declutter, only to discover I am emotionally attached to a chipped mug and three outdated throw pillows. My shelves are crowded with meaning.

5. Visible Invisibility

As a woman aging in public, I’ve discovered the peculiar experience of being professionally overlooked. My Substack, Sue Schwiebert Never Knew, feels more like a journal I’m leaving for my future self, while younger writers collect thousands of followers for being adorable. I’m not bitter. Just observant.

Maybe my forehead wrinkles double as an invisibility cloak. I’ve stood at counters while clerks addressed the man behind me. I’ve asked tech questions and received explanations suited for toddlers and houseplants, despite having served as a tech ed advisor just five years ago.

And yet, that same day, I can publish words that travel farther than I ever will. On the page, I am unmistakably here. In some spaces, I fade into the background. In others, I step fully into the light. Visibility, it turns out, is not the same as value.

6. Comfortable Adventurer

I love adventure, especially when it involves my family and the promise of a shared story afterward. I will raft rivers and ride roller coasters, but I prefer knowing the schedule, the exit strategy, and where the bathrooms are located. I enjoy risk, provided it is well organized. Spontaneity is best when carefully planned.

7. Grace-Giving Perfectionist

I speak often about extending grace to ourselves as we age. I encourage patience for forgotten names, misplaced glasses, and the sentence that wanders off mid-thought and refuses to return. I believe this deeply, until my own brain stalls and I begin conducting a private performance review. I see other people the way I once saw my uncertain nine-year-olds: full of potential, deserving of patience. For myself, however, I keep a stricter grading scale, complete with a red pen and comments in the margins.

8. Publicly Private Person

I share deeply personal stories on a podcast with people I may never meet. Strangers know about my aging brain, my sentimental heart, and the details of my last colonoscopy. Yet I hesitate before making a phone call, worried it might stretch longer than my social stamina allows. I am comfortable broadcasting vulnerability, but wary of unscheduled conversation. I share myself better with strangers reading my stories here, never hoping my friends or family will try to get to know my private thoughts.

9. Hopeful Realist

I clearly see the changes that come with time: the losses, the letting go, the quiet goodbyes. I do not pretend they are easy or insignificant. But I also believe humor lightens what might otherwise feel unbearable. I hold seriousness and laughter together, not because they cancel each other out, but because they steady one another. I hold both at once: clear eyes and a light heart.

Holding Both

Perhaps that is what an oxymoron really is. It’s not a contradiction to be solved, but a tension to be carried. We are sharper and duller than we admit. Braver and more cautious. Hopeful and realistic. Aging and beginning again.

So now I’m curious. What are your oxymorons? What opposite truths sit side by side in your life? You may discover, as I did, that the most honest descriptions of ourselves are the ones that don’t quite match.

Let’s Talk About This:

What two opposite qualities live side by side in you? When have you discovered that a contradiction in your personality wasn’t a flaw, but part of your strength?

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1 Caira Miller’s Tan Balloon Sleeve Top and Sunglasses 2 Amanda Batula’s Red Striped Sweater and Cat Eye Sunglasses 3 Charley Manley’s Denim Overall Shorts 4 Amanda Batula’s Denim Short Sleeve Top and Shorts 5 Amanda Batula’s Tortoise Shell Aviator Glasses 6 Salley Carson’s Camo Sweatpants 7 Amanda Batula’s Blue Lobster Cardigan 8 Amanda Batula’s Black Ruched Off the Shoulder Top 9 Amanda Batula’s Nude Strapless Bra in the Pool 10 Dorit Kemsley’s Olive Green Dress

Originally posted at: Best of February 2026

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