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Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

The world is divided into two different kinds of people: overpackers and underpackers. If you fall into the first category, don’t turn away yet! Give me a few minutes to try and convince you that there is a better way to travel.

As you might already suspect, I am an underpacker. My measure of a packing fail: Coming home with even one thing in my suitcase that I did not need, use or wear during my trip. I do fail sometimes, but not often anymore.

Here’s how to pack lighter – all lessons I learned the hard way.

Start with an Attitude Change

It helps that I don’t really care how I look. I don’t mean I would travel in ripped or dirty clothes. But I don’t need to be the glammed up center of attention. In fact, when you’re traveling, the more you can blend in, the better. You’re less likely to be targeted by pickpockets and local scammers.

Spend a little time researching what the locals wear and try to pack like that. This is the lesson I learned when I wore my electric blue winter coat to Romania, a former Soviet block country where there were two colors of winter coat: grey and black.

So if you simply must be a fashion plate, try to pare down the clothes to a capsule wardrobe of items you can mix and match and pieces that will do double duty.

Use a Packing List

These printable packing lists will give you a feel for the things you’ll need. If the list includes something you don’t think you’ll need, don’t pack it. If there is something missing, make a note on the printed sheet so you don’t forget it.

Check the Weather Forecast

I make this recommendation because I live in Chicago. We like to say, “If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes.” Here, the calendar might say May, but the thermometer might say March. Or July.

So check the forecast for your destination. It will tell you whether to pack a raincoat, sunhat, shorts, or sweaters.

Start Packing Early

If you have a spare bed, room, couch or some other spot to hold the things you want to pack, start a week early and put everything on the bed that you think you might want on your trip.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day and look it over. Is there anything missing? Is there anything you think you might not need on the trip? Make adjustments accordingly.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day with the intention of making choices. If you have two pairs of pants on the bed, take away one pair. If you have four shirts, take away two. And so on, until you have cut in half the things on the bed.

Then walk away.

The next day, it’s time to pack. Start with the pieces of clothing you absolutely MUST have with you.

If you run out of suitcase before you run out of clothes to pack, you get to make a choice: Leave something else behind or pay $40 or more to check a bag.

Buy Packing Cubes

I resisted buying this travel essential for years. Now I can’t believe I ever traveled without them.

Packing cubes are flexible pouches with a brilliant zipper system. You pack them with the clothes you want to take, and zip them shut. Then – this is the brilliant part – you zip a second zipper to compress the insides flat. (Think of it like your expandable suitcase, when you open that second zipper, it gives you an extra inch or two of suitcase space. When you zip it shut, everything inside is compressed.)

As a bonus, the clothes you lay inside the packing cube are much more likely to stay wrinkle free. I don’t know why. But it’s true.

Stick with One Basic Color

When I head to a Caribbean resort, that color will be white. But most of the time, it’s black – black pants, a black skirt, a black dress. Then I add color in the tops I will wear with the pants and skirt. Finally, I pack a few scarves and funky costume jewelry to dress everything up or down and add more color.

Wear the Heavy Stuff on the Plane

There are plenty of TikTokers and travel hacker influencers who will tell you to wear layers and layers on the plane to save suitcase space. Or to pack a pillowcase with your stuff and pretend it’s a pillow, not a suitcase, so it doesn’t count as a carryon.

While that might be useful info for travelers on uber-budget airlines that charge for anything that doesn’t fit under your seat, you really don’t have to go that crazy. Just use a little common sense.

If, for example, you’re flying from Florida to Colorado, you know you’ll need your winter coat, hat, gloves, hiking boots and heavy jeans. Wear the jeans and hiking boots on the plane, stuff the hat and gloves in the coat pockets and carry the coat on the plane rather than packing it in a suitcase.

I do this anyway because I’m always chilly on a plane. I’m always surprised when I see someone boarding a flight in shorts and flip flops. I would be blue by the time I landed!

Think Layers, Not Bulk

Thin layers are always the right answer, no matter where you are. Even a Caribbean vacation requires preparing for chilly evenings or overly air-conditioned restaurants. Layers are the answer to staying warm and packing light.

Make the Best Use of Your Under-Seat Bag

Finally, remember that you get not one, but two things to carry onto the plane – a bag that goes into the overhead and a smaller bag that fits under the seat in front of you.

Don’t waste the space in that second bag!

My go-to is a roomy backpack because I travel with a lot of electronics – laptop, Kindle, phone, ear buds and all of the cords and accessories they require. But those only take up two zippered compartments. That leaves two more compartments for other things – makeup bag, an extra pair of shoes, etc.

The other thing that works for me is a big striped bag that is super flexible. I can cram a lot into it and still stuff it under the seat. The downside of that is it is heavy to carry, unlike my backpack which easily distributes the weight across my shoulders.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I know. This isn’t easy. Especially if you’ve always been an overpacker. But practice will make perfect. Try it on your next quick weekend trip. That will give you a chance to see how it feels to only pack what you’ll need for 2-3 days, how much you like being able to lift that light carry-on bag and how happy you are not worrying about whether your suitcase will show up at the other end of your flight.

Just remember to pack one more thing: a credit card. That way, if you find you truly can’t live without something for a few days, you can head to the store to buy it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you an overpacker or an underpacker? What’s your favorite packing hack? Share with us in the comment section below.

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With Many Weddings Happening in May a Fur Accessory Could Be a Great Gift

With Many Weddings Happening in May a Fur Accessory Could Be a Great Gift

When you’re buying a gift for an important milestone – a wedding, a birthday, a graduation, an anniversary – you’re trying to get it right. Not just “good enough,” not just something they’ll politely thank you for. You want something that feels right the second they open it and still feels right years later.

Most gifts miss that.

They either lean practical and forgettable… or they look impressive at first and then disappear into a drawer.

Fur accessories, real or faux, don’t usually have that problem. They land right in the middle – where something feels special, but also gets used. That’s a hard balance to hit, and it’s why they work so well.

I see this play out all the time.

We’ll have someone come into one of our sales looking for a coat, and they end up leaving with a wrap or a stole because they realize it makes more sense as a gift. It’s easier to give, easier to wear, and it still feels like something meaningful.

It Feels Like a Real Gift

There’s a difference between handing someone something… and giving them something that feels substantial.

You can see it in the reaction.

When someone picks up a fur accessory for the first time, there’s usually a pause. They touch it, they run their hand across it, they look at it again. It’s not something they have to figure out.

It’s soft. It’s warm. It looks elevated.

You don’t have to explain it. You don’t have to sell it after the fact.

A lot of gifts today feel interchangeable. This doesn’t. It feels like you actually put thought into it.

You Don’t Have to Overthink the Occasion

Gift-giving gets complicated when you start trying to match the gift perfectly to the moment.

Some things only work in certain situations. Jewelry can feel too personal. Gift cards feel like you ran out of time. Clothing can be hit or miss.

Fur accessories don’t have that issue. They fit into almost any important occasion without forcing it.

At weddings, especially evening ones or anything with cooler weather, they just make sense. A wrap isn’t just something nice to have – it becomes part of what someone is wearing. It solves a real problem without taking away from the look.

For birthdays, it’s simple. It doesn’t feel over the top, but it doesn’t feel small either. It hits that middle ground most people are looking for.

For anniversaries, this is where it really makes sense. You’re giving something that lasts. Not something temporary, not something that gets replaced next year.

And during the holidays, timing works in your favor. People open it and can use it right away. That matters more than people think.

It’s Luxury That Actually Gets Used

A lot of “nice” gifts don’t get used. They look good, they feel expensive, but they sit. People don’t reach for them in real life.

Fur accessories are different.

They’re warm. They block the wind. They finish an outfit in a way that feels natural.

People actually use them.

At the same time, they still feel like something special. They’re soft, they look elegant, and they stand out without being too much.

You’re not choosing between something practical and something meaningful. You’re getting both in one piece.

It Doesn’t End Up in a Drawer

If you’ve given enough gifts, you know how this goes. Someone opens something, they like it, they say thank you… and then you never see it again. Not because they didn’t appreciate it. It just didn’t fit into their life.

Fur accessories tend to avoid that.

Once someone has one, they find reasons to wear it. Going out to dinner, traveling, events, even just dressing up something simple.

We’ve had customers come back to sales wearing pieces they bought years earlier. Not stored away. Not forgotten. Still part of what they use.

That’s what you want when you give something.

It Lasts – and That Changes the Value

Most gifts are temporary.

They wear out. They break. They go out of style.

A well-made fur accessory doesn’t follow that pattern.

With basic care, it can last for years, often much longer. It doesn’t depend on trends, and it doesn’t feel outdated after a season or two.

That changes how the gift is perceived. You’re not giving something that’s going to fade out. You’re giving something that stays in rotation.

It Carries Meaning Without You Explaining It

Some gifts need context. You find yourself explaining why you chose it, what it means, why you thought it was a good idea.

Fur doesn’t need that.

It already communicates what you’re trying to say. Warmth, care, appreciation, effort. People understand it immediately.

You don’t need a long explanation. The message is already there.

It Works for Different People

One of the hardest parts of buying a gift is making sure it actually fits the person.

Fur accessories are more flexible than most things.

They work for someone who dresses up often. They work for someone who travels. They work for someone who just likes to look put together without overthinking it.

We see a wide range of people buying them. Younger customers wear them in a more fashion-forward way. Others lean toward a classic, polished look. Some just want something warm that still looks good.

It adapts to the person, instead of the other way around.

You Control the Budget Without Losing Impact

A good gift doesn’t have to be extreme, but it does need to feel like it has value.

Fur accessories give you room to work.

You can go smaller – headbands, gloves with fur trim – or more substantial with scarves, stoles, and wraps.

Across that range, it still feels like a real gift.

You’re not stuck choosing between something too small or something too expensive.

It’s Hard to Get Wrong

A lot of gifts come with risk. Clothing needs to fit. Jewelry needs to match taste. Technology needs to be compatible.

Fur accessories remove most of that.

Many are one-size. They don’t require technical knowledge.

You’re not guessing in the same way, and that lowers the chance of getting it wrong.

It Gets Attention in a Good Way

Some gifts stay quiet. Others get noticed.

Fur accessories get noticed.

They add texture. They elevate an outfit. They stand out in photos.

People comment on them.

And that creates something valuable. Every time someone hears “that’s beautiful,” it reinforces the gift. That builds over time.

It Solves a Real Problem at Events

At weddings, dinners, and evening events, people are always balancing two things: looking good and staying comfortable.

Fur accessories solve that.

They provide warmth without taking away from the outfit. They add to the look instead of competing with it.

They’re not extra. They’re part of the solution.

It’s Not What Everyone Else Is Giving

At most events, you’ll see the same types of gifts. Gift cards. Jewelry. Basic clothing.

Fur accessories stand apart.

They’re not overused, and they’re not expected.

That makes them more memorable.

It Can Turn into Something Personal Over Time

Some gifts stay exactly what they are. Others become something more.

Fur accessories often do.

They get worn during important moments. They become tied to memories. Sometimes they even get passed down.

It stops being just a gift and becomes part of someone’s life.

It Works with How People Dress Today

There’s a misconception that fur only works in formal settings. That’s not how people use it now.

It blends into modern wardrobes easily. It works with casual outfits, simple coats, and travel clothes. It adds something without making the outfit feel overdone.

That makes it more usable.

Timing Works in Your Favor

The best gifts are the ones people can use right away. If someone has to wait months to use something, the impact drops.

Fur accessories don’t have that issue, especially in fall and winter.

They open it, and they can wear it. That immediate connection matters.

It Fits into Real Life

At the end of the day, a gift has to fit into someone’s life. If it doesn’t, it won’t get used.

Fur accessories do.

They work for going out, traveling, events, and everyday wear in colder weather.

They’re not limited to one situation.

The Bottom Line

When you break it down, a strong gift does a few things.

  • It feels valuable.
  • It gets used.
  • It lasts.
  • It means something.

Fur accessories check all of those boxes.

They’re not complicated.

They’re not risky.

They just work.

That’s why they’re one of the best gifts you can give – whether it’s for a wedding, a birthday, an anniversary, or any moment that actually matters.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you received a fur gift? What was your reaction? Would you give someone a fur accessory? Would you choose real fur or faux?

Skin Care

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How to Make Your Own Essential Oil Blend for Mature Skin (Recipe)

A Basic Essential Oil Blend for Everyday Mature Skin Care

With all the wonderful natural facial serums on the market today, it can be a little overwhelming choosing the correct formula with safe, non-toxic ingredients, all at a reasonable price. The good news is that it’s easy and fun to make a quality product on your own using the miracle of nature – essential oils. 

When I started working with skincare formulas in 2003, one of the first products I was excited about making was an essential oil-based facial serum. My skin needs were changing, and a moisturizing oil made perfect sense for dry, maturing skin.

I decided to work with four wonderful healthy aging essential oils I had discovered: Lavender, Frankincense, Rose Geranium, and Carrot Seed.

The natural and highly effective nature of essential oils makes them perfect for skincare. When blended for their various properties and used with a carrier oil that matches your skin type, you can create a serum tailor-made for your skin.

What Are Essential Oils?

Essential oils are the essence of plants. Hidden away in many parts of the plant, like the flowers, seeds, and roots, they are very potent chemical compounds. They can give the plant its scent, protect it from harsh conditions, and help with pollination.

The benefits of essential oils on humans are diverse and amazing. Lavender flower oil, for example, contains compounds that help soothe skin irritation and redness, while the scent reduces feelings of anxiety and stress.

The beautiful Rose essential oil is hydrating to the skin and sometimes used to treat scarring, while the scent is known to help lift depression. 

There are many essential oils to choose from for specific skincare needs. I have used a myriad of different combinations but keep coming back to the tried and true blend from my very first serum.

The four essential oils used are the workhorses of skincare for mature skin, as well as being wonderfully uplifting for mind, body, and spirit. 

The Base Oil Blend Formula

Here’s what you’ll need:

Bottle

1 oz. amber dropper bottle. You can find those in pharmacies or online.

Base (Carrier) Oil

As a base, you can use one of the oils below or a combination of several that meet your skin’s needs:

  • Jojoba oil is my base oil of choice. It’s incredible for most skin types: it’s extremely gentle and non-irritating for sensitive skin, moisturizing for dry skin, balancing for oily skin, ideal for combination skin, and offers a barrier of protection from environmental stressors. It also helps skin glow as it delivers deep hydration.
  • Rosehip oil smooths the skin’s texture and calms redness and irritation.
  • Argan oil contains high levels of vitamin E and absorbs thoroughly into the skin leaving little oily residue.
  • Avocado oil is effective at treating age spots and sun damage, as well as helping to soothe inflammatory conditions such as blemishes and eczema.
  • Olive oil is a heavier oil and the perfect choice if your skin needs a mega-dose of hydration. Just be aware that olive oil takes longer to absorb and leaves the skin with an oily feeling. This may be desirable for extremely dry, red, itchy skin.

Essential Oils

  • Lavender essential oil is very versatile and healing. It helps reduce inflammation, kill bacteria, and clear pores. Its scent is also calming and soothing.
  • Frankincense essential oil helps to tone and strengthen mature skin in addition to fighting bacteria and balancing oil production.
  • Rose Geranium essential oil helps tighten the skin by reducing the appearance of fine lines, helps reduce inflammation and fight redness, and offers anti-bacterial benefits to help fight the occasional breakout. The scent is also known to be soothing and balancing.
  • Carrot seed oil is a fantastic essential oil for combination skin. It helps even the skin tone while reducing inflammation and increasing water retention.

The Recipe

Let’s start with a simple recipe:

  • 1 oz. Jojoba oil (or carrier oil of your choice)
  • 10 drops Lavender
  • 10 drops Frankincense
  • 10 drops Rose Geranium
  • 10 drops Carrot seed oil 

Place the essential oil drops in the amber dropper bottle then fill with Jojoba/carrier oil. It’s that simple!

Applying Your Homemade Serum

Use this serum morning and evening as part of your regular skincare routine. Serums work best when applied after cleansing your face. You can cleanse with Coconut Oil or a mixture of oils for enhanced hydration (we will cover this in the next article) or use your regular facial cleanser.

Essential oils will not interfere in any way with your normal skincare products.

Keep in mind that the serum is concentrated. Use only a pea-sized amount, work it into your fingertips, and apply evenly over the face without tugging or pulling.

If your skin feels tacky, reduce the amount on the next application. Your skin should feel soft, not oily. Follow with your regular moisturizer if you like. 

Making your own facial serum is fun and rewarding! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas on essential oils and making personalized serums and skincare.

What facial serum do you use? Have you made one yourself? What is your favorite essential oil for skin care? Please share your thoughts with our community!

With Many Weddings Happening in May a Fur Accessory Could Be a Great Gift

With Many Weddings Happening in May a Fur Accessory Could Be a Great Gift

When you’re buying a gift for an important milestone – a wedding, a birthday, a graduation, an anniversary – you’re trying to get it right. Not just “good enough,” not just something they’ll politely thank you for. You want something that feels right the second they open it and still feels right years later.

Most gifts miss that.

They either lean practical and forgettable… or they look impressive at first and then disappear into a drawer.

Fur accessories, real or faux, don’t usually have that problem. They land right in the middle – where something feels special, but also gets used. That’s a hard balance to hit, and it’s why they work so well.

I see this play out all the time.

We’ll have someone come into one of our sales looking for a coat, and they end up leaving with a wrap or a stole because they realize it makes more sense as a gift. It’s easier to give, easier to wear, and it still feels like something meaningful.

It Feels Like a Real Gift

There’s a difference between handing someone something… and giving them something that feels substantial.

You can see it in the reaction.

When someone picks up a fur accessory for the first time, there’s usually a pause. They touch it, they run their hand across it, they look at it again. It’s not something they have to figure out.

It’s soft. It’s warm. It looks elevated.

You don’t have to explain it. You don’t have to sell it after the fact.

A lot of gifts today feel interchangeable. This doesn’t. It feels like you actually put thought into it.

You Don’t Have to Overthink the Occasion

Gift-giving gets complicated when you start trying to match the gift perfectly to the moment.

Some things only work in certain situations. Jewelry can feel too personal. Gift cards feel like you ran out of time. Clothing can be hit or miss.

Fur accessories don’t have that issue. They fit into almost any important occasion without forcing it.

At weddings, especially evening ones or anything with cooler weather, they just make sense. A wrap isn’t just something nice to have – it becomes part of what someone is wearing. It solves a real problem without taking away from the look.

For birthdays, it’s simple. It doesn’t feel over the top, but it doesn’t feel small either. It hits that middle ground most people are looking for.

For anniversaries, this is where it really makes sense. You’re giving something that lasts. Not something temporary, not something that gets replaced next year.

And during the holidays, timing works in your favor. People open it and can use it right away. That matters more than people think.

It’s Luxury That Actually Gets Used

A lot of “nice” gifts don’t get used. They look good, they feel expensive, but they sit. People don’t reach for them in real life.

Fur accessories are different.

They’re warm. They block the wind. They finish an outfit in a way that feels natural.

People actually use them.

At the same time, they still feel like something special. They’re soft, they look elegant, and they stand out without being too much.

You’re not choosing between something practical and something meaningful. You’re getting both in one piece.

It Doesn’t End Up in a Drawer

If you’ve given enough gifts, you know how this goes. Someone opens something, they like it, they say thank you… and then you never see it again. Not because they didn’t appreciate it. It just didn’t fit into their life.

Fur accessories tend to avoid that.

Once someone has one, they find reasons to wear it. Going out to dinner, traveling, events, even just dressing up something simple.

We’ve had customers come back to sales wearing pieces they bought years earlier. Not stored away. Not forgotten. Still part of what they use.

That’s what you want when you give something.

It Lasts – and That Changes the Value

Most gifts are temporary.

They wear out. They break. They go out of style.

A well-made fur accessory doesn’t follow that pattern.

With basic care, it can last for years, often much longer. It doesn’t depend on trends, and it doesn’t feel outdated after a season or two.

That changes how the gift is perceived. You’re not giving something that’s going to fade out. You’re giving something that stays in rotation.

It Carries Meaning Without You Explaining It

Some gifts need context. You find yourself explaining why you chose it, what it means, why you thought it was a good idea.

Fur doesn’t need that.

It already communicates what you’re trying to say. Warmth, care, appreciation, effort. People understand it immediately.

You don’t need a long explanation. The message is already there.

It Works for Different People

One of the hardest parts of buying a gift is making sure it actually fits the person.

Fur accessories are more flexible than most things.

They work for someone who dresses up often. They work for someone who travels. They work for someone who just likes to look put together without overthinking it.

We see a wide range of people buying them. Younger customers wear them in a more fashion-forward way. Others lean toward a classic, polished look. Some just want something warm that still looks good.

It adapts to the person, instead of the other way around.

You Control the Budget Without Losing Impact

A good gift doesn’t have to be extreme, but it does need to feel like it has value.

Fur accessories give you room to work.

You can go smaller – headbands, gloves with fur trim – or more substantial with scarves, stoles, and wraps.

Across that range, it still feels like a real gift.

You’re not stuck choosing between something too small or something too expensive.

It’s Hard to Get Wrong

A lot of gifts come with risk. Clothing needs to fit. Jewelry needs to match taste. Technology needs to be compatible.

Fur accessories remove most of that.

Many are one-size. They don’t require technical knowledge.

You’re not guessing in the same way, and that lowers the chance of getting it wrong.

It Gets Attention in a Good Way

Some gifts stay quiet. Others get noticed.

Fur accessories get noticed.

They add texture. They elevate an outfit. They stand out in photos.

People comment on them.

And that creates something valuable. Every time someone hears “that’s beautiful,” it reinforces the gift. That builds over time.

It Solves a Real Problem at Events

At weddings, dinners, and evening events, people are always balancing two things: looking good and staying comfortable.

Fur accessories solve that.

They provide warmth without taking away from the outfit. They add to the look instead of competing with it.

They’re not extra. They’re part of the solution.

It’s Not What Everyone Else Is Giving

At most events, you’ll see the same types of gifts. Gift cards. Jewelry. Basic clothing.

Fur accessories stand apart.

They’re not overused, and they’re not expected.

That makes them more memorable.

It Can Turn into Something Personal Over Time

Some gifts stay exactly what they are. Others become something more.

Fur accessories often do.

They get worn during important moments. They become tied to memories. Sometimes they even get passed down.

It stops being just a gift and becomes part of someone’s life.

It Works with How People Dress Today

There’s a misconception that fur only works in formal settings. That’s not how people use it now.

It blends into modern wardrobes easily. It works with casual outfits, simple coats, and travel clothes. It adds something without making the outfit feel overdone.

That makes it more usable.

Timing Works in Your Favor

The best gifts are the ones people can use right away. If someone has to wait months to use something, the impact drops.

Fur accessories don’t have that issue, especially in fall and winter.

They open it, and they can wear it. That immediate connection matters.

It Fits into Real Life

At the end of the day, a gift has to fit into someone’s life. If it doesn’t, it won’t get used.

Fur accessories do.

They work for going out, traveling, events, and everyday wear in colder weather.

They’re not limited to one situation.

The Bottom Line

When you break it down, a strong gift does a few things.

  • It feels valuable.
  • It gets used.
  • It lasts.
  • It means something.

Fur accessories check all of those boxes.

They’re not complicated.

They’re not risky.

They just work.

That’s why they’re one of the best gifts you can give – whether it’s for a wedding, a birthday, an anniversary, or any moment that actually matters.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you received a fur gift? What was your reaction? Would you give someone a fur accessory? Would you choose real fur or faux?

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Amanda Batula’s Blue and Red Printed Cardigan Sweater

Amanda Batula’s Blue and Red Printed Cardigan Sweater / Summer House Fashion Season 10 Episode 14

Amanda Batula wore a blue and red printed lobster cardigan at the beach on last night’s episode of Summer House, which we also caught her in at the beginning of this season. I spotted someone in Charleston recently out to dinner wearing this same cute cardigan, proving it’s perfect to throw on for any coastal adventure. And we’re sad to say her exact sweater isn’t available anymore, but we reeled in Style Stealers so you can still catch this vibe below.

Best in Blonde,

Amanda


Amanda Batula's Blue Lobster Print Cardigan
Amanda Batula's Blue and Red Printed Cardigan Sweater

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Originally posted at: Amanda Batula’s Blue and Red Printed Cardigan Sweater

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This Is the Part of Motherhood No One Prepared You For

This Is the Part of Motherhood No One Prepared You For

There is a moment in motherhood that arrives without announcement.

No milestone. No celebration. No clear language for what is happening.

Your children are grown. They are living their lives. Making their choices. And suddenly, you are standing in a space that feels unfamiliar… even though you earned your way here.

This is the part no one really prepares you for.

Not the logistics. Not the emotions. Not the quiet questions that start to rise when the noise of daily mothering fades.

Because this stage is not just about them growing up. It is about you being asked – sometimes gently, sometimes not – to grow into someone new.

When the Role That Defined You Shifts

For years, your life had a shape. You were needed in concrete, immediate ways. There were problems to solve. Schedules to manage. People to care for.

Even when it was exhausting… it was clear.

Now, the clarity is gone. Your children still matter deeply, you still love them with everything you have, but your role has changed. And if you are honest, part of you is still trying to operate from a version of motherhood that no longer fits.

You reach out… and sometimes it lands wrong.

You offer advice… and it isn’t received the way it once was.

You carry concern… and it turns into tension.

Not because you’ve done something wrong, but because the rules have changed, and no one handed you the new ones.

Why It Feels More Personal Than You Expected

This is where many women get stuck.

Because it doesn’t just feel like a transition – it feels personal.

When your adult child pulls away, disagrees, or makes choices you wouldn’t make… it can land as rejection.

Not of your opinion. Of you.

You can find yourself replaying conversations, second-guessing your tone, wondering what you should have said differently, trying to fix something you can no longer control.

This is not because you are too sensitive. It is because you were deeply invested, and now you are being asked to love without the same level of influence.

That is not a small shift.

That is an identity shift.

The Emotional Illusion That Keeps You Stuck

Here is the part most people will not say out loud:

Many women are still measuring their worth as mothers by how their adult children respond to them.

If the relationship feels close, you feel steady. If it feels strained, you feel like you’ve failed.

That is an exhausting way to live, and it is built on an illusion.

Because your value as a mother is not determined by your adult child’s mood, choices, or stage of life.

You can love well and still not be agreed with. You can show up with care and still be misunderstood. You can do a lot right and still have a relationship that feels complicated at times.

That does not erase who you are.

What This Season Is Really Asking of You

This stage of motherhood is not about withdrawing. And it is not about holding on tighter. It is about becoming more grounded in yourself. More clear about what is yours to carry… and what is not. More willing to let your children have their own experience without making it a reflection of your worth.

This is where boundaries begin to matter in a different way.

Not as walls. But as clarity about:

  • What you will engage in.
  • What you will step back from.
  • What you will no longer take personally.

This is not about becoming distant. It is about becoming steady.

You Are Not Done – You Are Being Repositioned

There is a quiet fear many women carry in this season:

If I am no longer needed in the same way… who am I now?

It is a real question, and it deserves a real answer.

You are not losing your place. You are being invited to expand it. Your life is not meant to narrow here. It is meant to open.

There are parts of you that were set aside while you were raising children. Parts that are still very much alive.

  • Your voice.
  • Your interests.
  • Your capacity to create something meaningful in this next chapter.

This is not the end of your relevance. It is the beginning of your authorship.

A Different Kind of Love

Loving adult children requires a different kind of strength.

Less control. More trust.

Less urgency. More patience.

Less fixing. More allowing.

That does not mean you stop caring. It means your care becomes more grounded. More rooted. Less reactive. And over time, that kind of love creates something powerful: A relationship that is chosen… not managed.

We Need to Talk About It

You are not behind. You are not failing. And you are not finished. This is the part where you begin to live your life with intention… not just responsibility.

And we are not going out like this.

This stage of motherhood is rarely talked about honestly. But many women are living it. So let’s open the conversation.

Let’s Discuss:

What has been the hardest part of this transition for you? And where are you finding yourself being asked to grow?

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Doing Things Alone Has Simply Becomes Easier

Doing Things Alone Has Simply Becomes Easier

Yesterday I made a roast chicken with all the fixings. There was no occasion. I wasn’t expecting anyone for dinner. I roasted potatoes, made carrots and turnip mash, and put together a large salad with whatever was ready in the garden. At the last minute, I baked a lemon pound cake because there was a lemon in the fridge, and it seemed like a good idea.

A few years ago, I would not have done this. A full meal like that, prepared just for me, would have felt excessive. There was an unspoken sense that something like that should be shared, that it needed a reason. Cooking a proper dinner alone carried a quiet weight, as if it pointed to something missing, rather than something chosen. More often, I would have made a single piece of chicken and a small salad, keeping it simple because I was on my own.

Or I would have invited others, adjusting the menu, the timing, and even the way I cooked to suit them. The meal would no longer have been entirely mine. It would have been shaped by preferences, expectations, and the small negotiations that come with shared plans. I might even have made a gravy, not because I wanted it, but because someone else did.

This time, none of that entered my mind. I cooked what I wanted, the way I wanted. No gravy, very little salt, and no compromise. It was exactly to my taste. The meal was relaxed, unhurried, and entirely my own. And yes, it was delicious. The leftovers will carry me through the next few days, turning up again in salads and sandwiches, each time just as satisfying.

What struck me most was how unremarkable it felt. There was no pause, no question about whether it made sense. It simply felt natural.

When It Used to Be Different

It wasn’t always like this. Not that long ago, doing things alone carried a different feeling. It was quieter, but not in a comfortable way. There was a sense that being alone meant something had gone wrong, or that it was something to be filled as quickly as possible.

Even small things were rarely done alone. Going to a movie, visiting a shopping mall across town, or sitting down to a meal that felt a bit special, all seemed to require company. It wasn’t necessarily stated, but it was understood. Alone suggested absence rather than choice.

Everything involved some level of coordination. Plans were made around other people’s schedules, and then adjusted again when those schedules shifted. Preferences were considered, sometimes set aside, sometimes negotiated. It took effort, but it was how things were done.

The Shift Was Elusive

The change did not arrive with any clear decision. There was no moment when I chose to start doing things on my own. It happened gradually, almost without notice.

At some point, going alone became the easier option. It removed the need to plan ahead, to confirm, to adjust. It allowed for spontaneity in a way that shared plans often do not. If I felt like going somewhere, I went. If I changed my mind, nothing needed to be explained.

Over time, that ease settled in. It no longer felt like a second choice or a compromise. It became its own way of moving through the day.

What It Looks Like Now

There is a lightness to it now. A kind of quiet freedom that comes from not needing to coordinate every decision. Life adjusts itself around a single set of preferences, and that simplicity has its own appeal.

Even everyday activities reflect this shift. Grocery shopping, for example, has changed. It used to feel as though everything was designed for more than one person. Now there are smaller portions, single servings, and ready-made meals that make sense for one. There is more choice, not less. Wandering through the aisles has become something I enjoy, noticing what is available and deciding, in the moment, what I feel like bringing home.

Going to the movies or the theatre alone no longer feels unusual. I don’t think about the people around me, whether they are couples or groups. The experience is no longer framed by comparison. I can sit, watch, and respond without conversation or commentary. If I want to leave early, I leave. If I feel like getting something to eat afterward, I go without hesitation. Chicken shawarma, with lots, and I mean lots, of garlic sauce, is a favourite snack. I’d never order this in the company of others.

The same is true of my daily walks. I am no longer asked who I walk with. The assumption has shifted. I walk alone because I want to. Some days the walk is long, other days longer. The pace changes, the route changes, and the purpose changes with it. There is space to think, or not to think at all. I can have music in my ears, whether it’s Bad Bunny, Bocelli, or a podcast. Or nothing at all. It depends on the day.

Even something as simple as deciding to go to the mall has become effortless. There is no planning involved. I can leave on a moment’s notice, wander through the shops, stop for something to eat, or turn around and go home. The outing does not need to justify itself.

Travel has shifted in the same way. Now that I’ve done it a few times, I enjoy traveling alone, even on the long trip from my winter home in Thailand back to Ottawa, Canada. I can pick the seat I want, arrive at the airport hours early, or walk up just as the gate is closing. I don’t have to explain or justify any of it. And somehow, that makes the 35-hour journey feel far less stressful.

A Different Kind of Ease

There is a noticeable ease in all of this. Not because doing things alone is better, but because it is simpler. There is less waiting, less adjusting, and less need to fit into anyone else’s schedule.

This does not replace time with others. Shared experiences still matter. Conversations, meals, and time spent together continue to have their place. But alongside that, there is now a comfort in moving through the day independently.

Doing things alone is no longer something to question or explain. It is simply another way of living. And over time, it has simply become easier.

Click for free access to my Substack, Retired Way Out There, where I publish a bi-monthly newsletter and provide handouts.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you love doing alone? What do you hate doing alone? How did this transition happen in your life – was it gradual and smooth or rough?

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3 Ways to Incorporate Ancient Bathing Rituals in Your Beauty Routine After 60

Beauty-Routine-After-60

There is a certain ripeness that comes with age that can only blossom when nourished properly, inside and out.

Apart from having a grateful, loving mindset every day despite life’s numerous challenges, and a vital body to support our adventures, there is so much we have yet to learn from ancient beautifying techniques.

These techniques have existed for thousands of years and survived to this very day for a good reason – they are a fountain of youth for the body and the soul alike. They serve to nurture and bring out your natural beauty. Let’s look at some of the essential bathing methods used by the Greeks, Egyptians and the like and how you can use them to pamper yourself as a regular part of your beauty routine.

Cleopatra’s Ancient Secret

The queen of Egypt, famous for her unparalleled beauty, knew how to care for herself. Among her finest inventions in the realm of skincare, Cleopatra’s most significant secret was the milk bath she used to keep her skin subtle, soft and nourished. While she used fermented mare’s milk mixed with raw honey, you can use cow’s milk with some organic Manuka honey and achieve the same effect.

Milk is known for its rich protein content, and it’s also full of various vitamins and minerals such as vitamins D, A and B-complex vitamins. It’s a skin-friendly solution that can be used every now and then to help you replenish your skin. Honey, on the other hand, is teeming with antioxidant and antibacterial properties, making it a perfect addition to this ritual. Dip yourself in this luxurious bath once a month, rinse with lukewarm water, and your skin will be radiant for days on end!

Spice Up with India’s Herbs

Women in ancient India were adorned as true goddesses with opulent body art and clothing, while they had complex beauty rituals with rejuvenating baths meant to cherish their skin’s natural health and balance. Therefore, Indian women treated their entire bodies like temples, from head to toe, their faces and scalps included.

Almost a religious experience for them, an herbal detox preceding a bath served to soften and exfoliate. A bath contained soothing, purifying herbs such as sandalwood, turmeric and saffron, as the ancient Ayurvedic rituals were based on ingredients that can cleanse the skin inside and out.

Since they believed that this ritual should nourish all their senses, you can complement your own bath with MOR Emporium fragrances to create a healing atmosphere and a feeling of serenity.

Daring Roman Baths

Well-known Roman bathhouses with elaborate paintings and mosaics surrounding their pools were designed to create a heavenly atmosphere and turn bathing into a true ritual. However, they used a unique technique to combine immersing themselves in warm and cool water alternately to make the most of their therapeutic effects. Cold water is known to soothe inflammation, while warm water opens pores and it is ideal for cleansing.

Romans also perceived their baths as holistic, hedonistic treatments that involved plenty of fragrances and follow-up nourishing ointments, such as olive oil, which was used to keep the skin healthy and well-hydrated. If you are brave enough to try this alternating bath style, have a large comfortable cotton towel close by to wrap yourself up and soak in the benefits of this unique ritual.

Your delicate skin deserves a royal treatment every once in a while, in addition to your regular beauty routine. These bathing rituals are a perfect way to pamper yourself with the help of these ancient rituals that accentuate your natural, timeless beauty – and provide you with yet another way to enjoy your life to the fullest.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you tried any of these techniques? Have you treated yourself to any ancient bathing rituals? How do you cherish your skin’s natural health and balance? Please share in the comments.

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Amanda Batula’s Tortoiseshell Cat Eye Sunglasses

Amanda Batula’s Tortoiseshell Cat Eye Sunglasses / Summer House Season 10 Episode 14 Fashion

Oof okay it is getting harder to watch Summer House knowing what we know with *this* particular situation, especially at this beach hang hearing Amanda Batula speak on it. But something that makes it a lot easier is seeing that the tortoiseshell cat eye sunglasses Amanda’s is wearing there are still in stock and still under $100! And since you keep shopping her looks, we’ll just say this is a coupling we can get behind. 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Amanda Batula's Tortoiseshell Cat Eye Sunglasses

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Originally posted at: Amanda Batula’s Tortoiseshell Cat Eye Sunglasses

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