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Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

The world is divided into two different kinds of people: overpackers and underpackers. If you fall into the first category, don’t turn away yet! Give me a few minutes to try and convince you that there is a better way to travel.

As you might already suspect, I am an underpacker. My measure of a packing fail: Coming home with even one thing in my suitcase that I did not need, use or wear during my trip. I do fail sometimes, but not often anymore.

Here’s how to pack lighter – all lessons I learned the hard way.

Start with an Attitude Change

It helps that I don’t really care how I look. I don’t mean I would travel in ripped or dirty clothes. But I don’t need to be the glammed up center of attention. In fact, when you’re traveling, the more you can blend in, the better. You’re less likely to be targeted by pickpockets and local scammers.

Spend a little time researching what the locals wear and try to pack like that. This is the lesson I learned when I wore my electric blue winter coat to Romania, a former Soviet block country where there were two colors of winter coat: grey and black.

So if you simply must be a fashion plate, try to pare down the clothes to a capsule wardrobe of items you can mix and match and pieces that will do double duty.

Use a Packing List

These printable packing lists will give you a feel for the things you’ll need. If the list includes something you don’t think you’ll need, don’t pack it. If there is something missing, make a note on the printed sheet so you don’t forget it.

Check the Weather Forecast

I make this recommendation because I live in Chicago. We like to say, “If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes.” Here, the calendar might say May, but the thermometer might say March. Or July.

So check the forecast for your destination. It will tell you whether to pack a raincoat, sunhat, shorts, or sweaters.

Start Packing Early

If you have a spare bed, room, couch or some other spot to hold the things you want to pack, start a week early and put everything on the bed that you think you might want on your trip.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day and look it over. Is there anything missing? Is there anything you think you might not need on the trip? Make adjustments accordingly.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day with the intention of making choices. If you have two pairs of pants on the bed, take away one pair. If you have four shirts, take away two. And so on, until you have cut in half the things on the bed.

Then walk away.

The next day, it’s time to pack. Start with the pieces of clothing you absolutely MUST have with you.

If you run out of suitcase before you run out of clothes to pack, you get to make a choice: Leave something else behind or pay $40 or more to check a bag.

Buy Packing Cubes

I resisted buying this travel essential for years. Now I can’t believe I ever traveled without them.

Packing cubes are flexible pouches with a brilliant zipper system. You pack them with the clothes you want to take, and zip them shut. Then – this is the brilliant part – you zip a second zipper to compress the insides flat. (Think of it like your expandable suitcase, when you open that second zipper, it gives you an extra inch or two of suitcase space. When you zip it shut, everything inside is compressed.)

As a bonus, the clothes you lay inside the packing cube are much more likely to stay wrinkle free. I don’t know why. But it’s true.

Stick with One Basic Color

When I head to a Caribbean resort, that color will be white. But most of the time, it’s black – black pants, a black skirt, a black dress. Then I add color in the tops I will wear with the pants and skirt. Finally, I pack a few scarves and funky costume jewelry to dress everything up or down and add more color.

Wear the Heavy Stuff on the Plane

There are plenty of TikTokers and travel hacker influencers who will tell you to wear layers and layers on the plane to save suitcase space. Or to pack a pillowcase with your stuff and pretend it’s a pillow, not a suitcase, so it doesn’t count as a carryon.

While that might be useful info for travelers on uber-budget airlines that charge for anything that doesn’t fit under your seat, you really don’t have to go that crazy. Just use a little common sense.

If, for example, you’re flying from Florida to Colorado, you know you’ll need your winter coat, hat, gloves, hiking boots and heavy jeans. Wear the jeans and hiking boots on the plane, stuff the hat and gloves in the coat pockets and carry the coat on the plane rather than packing it in a suitcase.

I do this anyway because I’m always chilly on a plane. I’m always surprised when I see someone boarding a flight in shorts and flip flops. I would be blue by the time I landed!

Think Layers, Not Bulk

Thin layers are always the right answer, no matter where you are. Even a Caribbean vacation requires preparing for chilly evenings or overly air-conditioned restaurants. Layers are the answer to staying warm and packing light.

Make the Best Use of Your Under-Seat Bag

Finally, remember that you get not one, but two things to carry onto the plane – a bag that goes into the overhead and a smaller bag that fits under the seat in front of you.

Don’t waste the space in that second bag!

My go-to is a roomy backpack because I travel with a lot of electronics – laptop, Kindle, phone, ear buds and all of the cords and accessories they require. But those only take up two zippered compartments. That leaves two more compartments for other things – makeup bag, an extra pair of shoes, etc.

The other thing that works for me is a big striped bag that is super flexible. I can cram a lot into it and still stuff it under the seat. The downside of that is it is heavy to carry, unlike my backpack which easily distributes the weight across my shoulders.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I know. This isn’t easy. Especially if you’ve always been an overpacker. But practice will make perfect. Try it on your next quick weekend trip. That will give you a chance to see how it feels to only pack what you’ll need for 2-3 days, how much you like being able to lift that light carry-on bag and how happy you are not worrying about whether your suitcase will show up at the other end of your flight.

Just remember to pack one more thing: a credit card. That way, if you find you truly can’t live without something for a few days, you can head to the store to buy it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you an overpacker or an underpacker? What’s your favorite packing hack? Share with us in the comment section below.

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Ciara Miller’s White Floral Long Sleeve Crop Top and Shorts

Ciara Miller’s White Floral Long Sleeve Crop Top and Shorts / Summer House Season 10 Episode 9 Fashion

Tonight Ciara Miller gives Ben Waddell dating advice. Which happens to coincide with the (silent) fashion advice she’s giving us in her white floral long sleeve crop top and shorts…and some major Summer House drama IRL. But while we are all feeling for Ciara in her current Summer House sitch, I thought finding her ‘fit might be a bit easier to focus on in the meantime.

Best in Blonde,

Amanda


Ciara Miller's White Floral Long Sleeve Crop Top and Shorts

Click Here for Her Shorts in Additional Colors


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Originally posted at: Ciara Miller’s White Floral Long Sleeve Crop Top and Shorts

Skin Care

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How to Make Your Own Essential Oil Blend for Mature Skin (Recipe)

A Basic Essential Oil Blend for Everyday Mature Skin Care

With all the wonderful natural facial serums on the market today, it can be a little overwhelming choosing the correct formula with safe, non-toxic ingredients, all at a reasonable price. The good news is that it’s easy and fun to make a quality product on your own using the miracle of nature – essential oils. 

When I started working with skincare formulas in 2003, one of the first products I was excited about making was an essential oil-based facial serum. My skin needs were changing, and a moisturizing oil made perfect sense for dry, maturing skin.

I decided to work with four wonderful healthy aging essential oils I had discovered: Lavender, Frankincense, Rose Geranium, and Carrot Seed.

The natural and highly effective nature of essential oils makes them perfect for skincare. When blended for their various properties and used with a carrier oil that matches your skin type, you can create a serum tailor-made for your skin.

What Are Essential Oils?

Essential oils are the essence of plants. Hidden away in many parts of the plant, like the flowers, seeds, and roots, they are very potent chemical compounds. They can give the plant its scent, protect it from harsh conditions, and help with pollination.

The benefits of essential oils on humans are diverse and amazing. Lavender flower oil, for example, contains compounds that help soothe skin irritation and redness, while the scent reduces feelings of anxiety and stress.

The beautiful Rose essential oil is hydrating to the skin and sometimes used to treat scarring, while the scent is known to help lift depression. 

There are many essential oils to choose from for specific skincare needs. I have used a myriad of different combinations but keep coming back to the tried and true blend from my very first serum.

The four essential oils used are the workhorses of skincare for mature skin, as well as being wonderfully uplifting for mind, body, and spirit. 

The Base Oil Blend Formula

Here’s what you’ll need:

Bottle

1 oz. amber dropper bottle. You can find those in pharmacies or online.

Base (Carrier) Oil

As a base, you can use one of the oils below or a combination of several that meet your skin’s needs:

  • Jojoba oil is my base oil of choice. It’s incredible for most skin types: it’s extremely gentle and non-irritating for sensitive skin, moisturizing for dry skin, balancing for oily skin, ideal for combination skin, and offers a barrier of protection from environmental stressors. It also helps skin glow as it delivers deep hydration.
  • Rosehip oil smooths the skin’s texture and calms redness and irritation.
  • Argan oil contains high levels of vitamin E and absorbs thoroughly into the skin leaving little oily residue.
  • Avocado oil is effective at treating age spots and sun damage, as well as helping to soothe inflammatory conditions such as blemishes and eczema.
  • Olive oil is a heavier oil and the perfect choice if your skin needs a mega-dose of hydration. Just be aware that olive oil takes longer to absorb and leaves the skin with an oily feeling. This may be desirable for extremely dry, red, itchy skin.

Essential Oils

  • Lavender essential oil is very versatile and healing. It helps reduce inflammation, kill bacteria, and clear pores. Its scent is also calming and soothing.
  • Frankincense essential oil helps to tone and strengthen mature skin in addition to fighting bacteria and balancing oil production.
  • Rose Geranium essential oil helps tighten the skin by reducing the appearance of fine lines, helps reduce inflammation and fight redness, and offers anti-bacterial benefits to help fight the occasional breakout. The scent is also known to be soothing and balancing.
  • Carrot seed oil is a fantastic essential oil for combination skin. It helps even the skin tone while reducing inflammation and increasing water retention.

The Recipe

Let’s start with a simple recipe:

  • 1 oz. Jojoba oil (or carrier oil of your choice)
  • 10 drops Lavender
  • 10 drops Frankincense
  • 10 drops Rose Geranium
  • 10 drops Carrot seed oil 

Place the essential oil drops in the amber dropper bottle then fill with Jojoba/carrier oil. It’s that simple!

Applying Your Homemade Serum

Use this serum morning and evening as part of your regular skincare routine. Serums work best when applied after cleansing your face. You can cleanse with Coconut Oil or a mixture of oils for enhanced hydration (we will cover this in the next article) or use your regular facial cleanser.

Essential oils will not interfere in any way with your normal skincare products.

Keep in mind that the serum is concentrated. Use only a pea-sized amount, work it into your fingertips, and apply evenly over the face without tugging or pulling.

If your skin feels tacky, reduce the amount on the next application. Your skin should feel soft, not oily. Follow with your regular moisturizer if you like. 

Making your own facial serum is fun and rewarding! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas on essential oils and making personalized serums and skincare.

What facial serum do you use? Have you made one yourself? What is your favorite essential oil for skin care? Please share your thoughts with our community!

Ciara Miller’s White Floral Long Sleeve Crop Top and Shorts

Ciara Miller’s White Floral Long Sleeve Crop Top and Shorts / Summer House Season 10 Episode 9 Fashion

Tonight Ciara Miller gives Ben Waddell dating advice. Which happens to coincide with the (silent) fashion advice she’s giving us in her white floral long sleeve crop top and shorts…and some major Summer House drama IRL. But while we are all feeling for Ciara in her current Summer House sitch, I thought finding her ‘fit might be a bit easier to focus on in the meantime.

Best in Blonde,

Amanda


Ciara Miller's White Floral Long Sleeve Crop Top and Shorts

Click Here for Her Shorts in Additional Colors


Style Stealers

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Originally posted at: Ciara Miller’s White Floral Long Sleeve Crop Top and Shorts

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Amanda Batula’s Brown Mini Dress

Amanda Batula’s Brown Mini Dress / Summer House Season 10 Episode 9

Amanda Batula is bound to make a big impression with her style, and her brown mini dress for Lindsay Hubbard’s housewarming party does just that. This chic brown color is still trending everywhere, along with mini moments, since they are a go-to seasonal staple. A dress like this can take you from day to night, which is why you should not dodge your current relationship drama this dress priced under $120 and instead bring it right to your doorstep in case you can never leave your house again.

Best in Blonde,

Amanda


Amanda Batula's Brown Mini Dress

Photo: @amandabatula


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Meeting Life Transitions After 60: Navigating Our Losses Without Getting Lost

Meeting Life Transitions After 60 Navigating Our Losses Without Getting Lost

By the time we reach our 60s and beyond, we’ve lived many lifetimes within one life.

We’ve loved, built careers, raised families, created identities and, inevitably, we’ve also experienced loss. Some losses are visible: the death of a loved one, the end of a marriage, a career shift. Others are quieter but just as profound: children leaving home, changes in our bodies, shifting roles, or the realization that life is entering a new chapter.

These transitions can leave us asking a question many women don’t say out loud:

Why do I feel so stuck, even when I know I should be moving forward?

Loss Doesn’t Just Live in the Mind

One of the most overlooked truths about navigating life transitions is this: loss is not just emotional; it’s physical. It lives in the body.

You may feel it as tightness in your chest, heaviness in your shoulders, a lump in your throat, or a constant sense of fatigue. You might notice restlessness, anxiety, or the opposite, a kind of numbness that makes it hard to feel anything at all.

This isn’t something you’re doing wrong. It’s how the body processes overwhelming experiences. And yet, many of us try to “think” our way through transitions, analyzing, pushing forward, or telling ourselves to just move on.

But the body doesn’t move on that way.

The Pressure to Move Forward

Women over 60 are often expected to carry transitions with quiet resilience. You may hear messages like:

  • “This is just part of life.”
  • “Be grateful for what you have.”
  • “Stay positive.”

While well-meaning, these messages can create pressure to bypass what you’re actually feeling.

The truth is, moving forward doesn’t mean leaving everything behind. It means learning how to carry your experiences differently, so they don’t weigh you down.

A Different Approach: Living With Loss

What if, instead of trying to get over life’s transitions, you learned how to live with them?

This is where a body-based approach can be transformative. Ignoring or hiding our painful thoughts only increases their hold on us and manifests in physical ailments. As Pema Chodren, a renown Buddhist nun says, “What we resists persists.” Our thoughts are closely aligned with, and are boldly evident, in our bodies. Good thoughts, healthy bodies; suffering thoughts, physical pain.

Simple practices like breathwork, gentle yoga movements, and awareness allow you to begin releasing the physical tension of what you’ve been holding. You don’t have to relive or analyze everything, you simply start by noticing where it lives in your body.

I wrote Yoga for Living with Loss, Navigating Our Losses Without Getting Lost to address how we meet transitions through breath, gentle movement, meditation, quiet rest, and more. By witnessing where the congestion of loss and transitions are revealed physically such as digestive issues, heartburn, laryngitis or headaches for example, we can become aware that we can ‘decongest’ with awareness, breath, and simple movements.

For example:

  • A tight chest may soften with slow, steady breathing.
  • Heavy shoulders may release through gentle movement.
  • A constricted throat may ease when you give yourself space to express or simply feel.

These small shifts create space, not to erase the past, but to relate to it differently.

Why This Matters More After 60

At this stage of life, transitions often come closer together and carry deeper meaning. You’re not just navigating change, you’re integrating a lifetime of experiences.

The body keeps the score of all of it. When we don’t have a way to process these layers, they can accumulate as:

  • Chronic tension
  • Emotional overwhelm
  • Fatigue or disconnection
  • A feeling of being “stuck” in the past

But when we begin to gently move and support the body, something shifts. We feel more present, more grounded, and more able to meet what’s next.

You’re in Transition

It’s easy to believe that feeling stuck means something is wrong. But often, it simply means something in you hasn’t had the chance to move yet.

Transitions are not a sign that life is narrowing, they’re an invitation to relate to yourself in a new way.

You don’t need to rush. You don’t need to force clarity. You don’t need to do it perfectly. You only need a way to begin.

A Gentle Place to Start: Try this simple practice: Do this for just one minute.

  • Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
  • Take a slow breath in through your nose.
  • Exhale gently through your mouth.

Notice what you feel, not to change it, but to acknowledge it. This is how release begins.

Life After 60 Isn’t About Becoming Someone New

It’s about learning how to hold everything you’ve lived, with a little more space, a little more softness, and a little more support. Because loss may be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to define how you live the next chapter.

Let’s find and revel in self-compassion, resilience, and embrace all that we have and will experience.

Join the Conversation:

Are you in transition? How has it affected your body and mind? Have you acknowledged this transition?

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Lindsay Hubbard’s Strapless Floral Dress

Lindsay Hubbard’s Strapless Floral Dress / Summer House Season 10 Episode 9 Fashion

Lindsay Hubbard’s style is blossoming this season of Summer House—literally. The strapless floral dress she wears on tonight’s episode for her party proves it. It’s a the perfect piece for new beginnings whether you’re attending a housewarming party, wedding or shower of any sort. And since your ex-fiance might not show up with a package especially for you at any of these occasions, I highly suggest you gift yourself this dress while it’s fully stocked and on sale for 30 percent off.

Best in Blonde,

Amanda


Lindsay Hubbard's Strapless Floral Dress

Click Here for Additional Colors


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Originally posted at: Lindsay Hubbard’s Strapless Floral Dress

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Why Sicily Is the Perfect Destination for a Springtime Break

Why Sicily Is the Perfect Destination for a Springtime Break

Springtime is such a glorious time of year and certainly one of my favourite times to be here in Sicily. Delicate fresh spring flavours appear in dishes and on menus and, with daylight hours increasing daily, al fresco breakfasts and dinners start to bookend the day. Meanwhile, wildflowers and fragrant herbs are emerging on the hillsides in the national parks and nature reserves, and beaches and the more popular tourist spots are at their best before the arrival of the summer crowds.

However, for anyone thinking of visiting Sicily in springtime, some places are extra special: keep reading to discover where’s best and what makes them so great.

Take Advantage of Cooler Temperatures to Sightsee

Visit Sicily in July or August and you’ll want to spend most of your time in or near the water; springtime temperatures, however, are much more moderate. The island’s far southerly position in relation to the rest of the country means that days are still likely to be sunnier and hotter than other regions of Italy, with average daily highs in April and May between 20-26°C and around 8 hours of sunshine per day. You may still need a light jacket in the evening but certainly be able to enjoy beach time during the day.

Best of all, these mild, sunny days, with little rain, are perfect conditions for sightseeing, unlike July and August when exploring the island’s remarkable Greek and Roman ruins can be challenging. This is the time to pay a visit to the island’s incredible ancient ruins at the Valley of the Temples or the magnificent baroque towns of southeast Sicily. These are generally crowd-free in the spring, allowing you to wander at leisure without wilting in the heat.

Valley of the Temples, Sicily
Valley of the Temples, Sicily

Enjoy Springtime Flowers in Sicily

One of the most welcome signs of spring in Sicily is the almond blossom, but the pale pink and white blossom soon gives way to something far more colourful. Cascading magenta and orange bougainvillea appears in towns and gardens, while out of town, fields and grassy meadows are covered with wild poppies, orchids, anemones and creamy white snapdragons.

Make tracks for one of Sicily’s nature reserves, such as the Madonie Regional Natural Park or the Vendicari Nature Reserve, and you’ll find the air filled with the scent of thyme, sage and rosemary and coastal plains dotted with wild orchids and rock roses.

Springtime in Sicily is also marked by a very special festival – the Infiorata – with the most famous taking place in the stunning town of Noto. The focal point for the event is Via Corrado Nicolaci which is transformed into a giant floral carpet comprising mosaics made from thousands of petals but there are also parades, music and food stalls. If you’re keen to experience other Infiorata events, Villa Alma at San Pier Niceto (near Messina) is a good base for visiting the town’s ‘infiorata’ where the floral path extends as far as 2km.

Infiorata di Noto, Sicily
Infiorata di Noto, Sicily

Explore the Countryside – Hiking and Cycling in Sicily

Hiking and cycling are definitely best kept for the comfortable springtime temperatures. A favourite spot for me is the Zingaro Nature Reserve which is completely transformed in the spring. The fabulous coastal path takes you across dazzling green hillsides awash with orchids and wild herbs, with views of pretty coves and the sparkling sea.

In the north of the island, the Madonie and Nebrodi mountain ranges are both favourite spots for hikers, and easily accessible from the coast. Don’t worry if you’re not a diehard hiker: you can enjoy gentle strolls around lakes in the Nebrodi mountains and visit some wonderful little villages nestling between the peaks. Stay near the charming seaside town of Cefalù and you’ll be within easy reach of some fabulous walks. In the east of the island, the more challenging upper slopes of Mount Etna can still be snow-capped while wildflowers are beginning to appear on the lower forest trails.

If you’re used to cycling, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t hire a bike to get to see even more of the countryside. If you prefer to venture out as part of a guided bike tour, choose from a range of experiences from leisurely rides along the coast to more heart-thumping mountain bike excursions.

Enjoy Fabulous Spring Food!

When it comes to food in Sicily, springtime wins hands down. After the glut of Easter sweets and pastries, everyone’s in need of returning to a healthier diet and in fact, the change of season in April welcomes some wonderful fresh fruit and vegetables that bring star quality to the simplest of dishes.

Enjoy cream ricotta-filled cannoli in Sicily
Enjoy cream ricotta-filled cannoli in Sicily

Peas, fava beans, artichokes and asparagus appear in pasta dishes, street food and on menus in restaurants, and colourful market stalls are filled with the aroma of wild fennel and late variety citrus fruits. Spring is also the best time to try traditional homegrown Sicilian cheese such as creamy ricotta and pecorino: if you’re in Sicily in April or May, you’ll find a number of dedicated ricotta festivals, many centred around the use of ricotta in creamy desserts and cannoli.

Also read, Sicilian Flavours: From Sicily to Your Table.

Other Reasons to Visit Sicily in Spring

So what else makes springtime such a good time to visit Sicily? The island is very popular in July and August with Italians and holidaymakers from overseas, and this is particularly noticeable in hotspots such as Taormina and Cefalù so if, as a first time visitor to Sicily, you’re keen to visit either of these towns, I’d definitely recommend doing so in spring.

Lastly, if you’re looking for the best value, you can make significant savings in springtime by taking advantage of lower priced flights and last minute offers on accommodation.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you ever been to Sicily? What time of year did you go? Where’s your favourite place to visit in springtime?

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Where Are the Good Men?

Where Are the Good Men

I hear this every week:

  • “Laurie, where are the good men? I can’t seem to find any.”
  • “I don’t think there are any good ones left.”
  • “All the good ones are taken.”
  • “I’ve been on the dating apps, and there are none there. Where are they?”

Ahh, the search for the rare breed of good men: The decent men who want a serious relationship.

You mean decently healthy, financially stable, well-groomed and clean, handsome enough, and ready for a long-term relationship.

At first glance, these seem like questions about the dating market. But, if they were, my answer “everywhere” would suffice.

Truth bomb: These questions are more about your state of mind.

First: There Are Good Men. Full Stop.

Are there fewer emotionally available men in midlife than we’d like? And are they harder to find?

Yes.

Is the dating scene noisy, confusing, and sometimes ridiculous?

Also yes.

But when someone tells me, “There are no good men left,” I get curious because here’s what I know after coaching thousands of women:

When you believe there are no high-quality men, you stop recognizing them. You even turn good ones into frogs.

You scroll past the decent guy on online dating sites because he doesn’t look like the perfect man in your head.

You ignore the good catch in your extended social circle because he’s “not your usual type.”

You stay in your comfort zone, then complain there are no great guys in it.

You’ll put up with all kinds of nonsense, but you actually filter out a good guy when he comes around.

The Dating Apps Aren’t the Enemy

Yes, dating apps can feel like dehumanizing and comically difficult.

But, truth bomb #2: Apps don’t create bad men. They reveal the pool. And the pool is as varied as clothing items at the mall.

If you’re on online dating sites and all you see are fish pics, beer bellies, and men who can’t be bothered to string sentences together or “aren’t sure what they’re looking for,” that doesn’t mean there are no good guys.

It means:

  1. You’re seeing a certain crowd (possibly attracted by YOUR poorly-done profile!!)
  2. You haven’t refined your screening.
  3. You might be unconsciously drawn to familiar fixer-uppers.

Ouch?

Good.

I promise these truth bombs are good for you. Tough love is my brand. Have you come to the right place?

The Numbers Game (But Not How You Think)

People love to say dating is a numbers game.

Swipe more. Date more. Meet new people. Try speed dating. Upgrade your subscription tier.

True: A bigger pool helps.

But if your mindset is cynical, exhausted, or secretly convinced that men are disappointing?

You could meet 100 decent men at a coffee shop, at church, at the gym, in real life – and still miss your good match.

Why?

Because the real numbers game is this:

How many emotionally available women are out there looking for emotionally available men?

I coach men, too, and they are JUST as convinced that women are the ones who are not available! Mind your own stats before believing that the stats of the other gender are what’s getting in the way of you finding healthy, lasting love.

When you shift your state of mind, you shift your results.

“But Laurie, The Nice Guys I’m Meeting: I’m Just Not Attracted to”

Ah. Now we’re getting somewhere.

Many women say they want a good man, but what they mean is: “I want a man who is exciting in the exact way my ex was – but emotionally stable.”

That’s not a true dream, it’s a reaction to pain.

Some of the nice guys you’re overlooking? They’re not boring. They’re calm, and there’s a difference.

Chemistry built on anxiety feels electric. Chemistry built on compatibility feels warm.

If you keep saying, “Where are the good men?” I might gently ask: Are you equating calm with dull?

Because some of the great guys you’re dismissing could build a long relationship with you – the kind that feels secure, not dramatic.

The Myth of the Perfect Man

Another way you obscure the good men from becoming apparent to you is by idealizing “the perfect man.”

Sure, they do it to us, too, but that’s no excuse.

There is no perfect man. And good, because you aren’t looking for that. You are looking for a good match.

And a good match is someone whose values, pace, and vision for a long-term relationship align with yours.

He might not:

  • Dress like your fantasy.
  • Text in paragraphs.
  • Love the same music.

But he might:

  • Show up consistently.
  • Talk about the future with clarity.
  • Treat you like a partner, not a number in a numbers game.

That’s a good man.

They exist. I hear about them every day in my practice.

Where are the Good Men? Coaching:

If you keep asking, “Where are the good men?” ask yourself three questions:

  1. Am I open to a man who is different from my past?
  2. Am I willing to leave my comfort zone to meet him?
  3. Am I showing up as the woman who can sustain a long-term partnership?

Final truth bomb:

Nothing is the fault of circumstance, your environment or dating apps. But your clarity and purpose affect them all.

When you know the kind of relationship you want, you stop wasting time on men who can’t offer it. And suddenly you start seeing good men everywhere. At the coffee shop. On dating apps. At dinner parties. Through friends.

They were never extinct. They were just invisible to a mindset shaped by negativity, fear and disappointment.

Reframing the Problem of No-Good Men

The question isn’t:

“Where are the good men?”

It’s:

“Am I positioned to recognize and receive one?”

You don’t need a new subscription tier. You don’t need to swipe harder. You need awareness and alignment — of head, heart, and hoo-ha.

And that’s when dating stops feeling like a losing battle… and starts feeling like an exciting adventure.

If you’re ready to stop wondering where the good men are and start becoming magnetic to the right one, watch my free webinar: 3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love Without Repeated Disappointments.

It will change how you see the entire dating market – and yourself.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you really open to dating? Do you think you are emotionally available? Have you been complaining there are no good men out there?

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